But he says he didn’t do it…
Somehow his word whoever he happens to be is more credible than hers to some people no matter what the situation, no matter what the evidence, no matter how credible her account or how much his lacks credibility. For some reason, for some people that’s enough.
It’s as if they expect criminals to be honest… Really?
And for some reason they always doubt women… Really?
What do you expect him to say, seriously? To admit it is confessing to a crime, even if the statute of limitations has run out.
I’ve been raped on three different occasions by two different men. Yet, I’m fairly certain neither of those men would admit assaulting me because they see nothing wrong with their behavior. (other posts on sexual assault.)
I confronted the two men, let’s call them M and W, who raped me. Each readily admitted he proceeded even after I said no and made it clear I didn’t want to have sex.
M even bragged about “not taking no for an answer” to my face, my (at the time) love-you-like-a-sister friend, and her (at the time) boyfriend who was also his friend. Yet, when I pointed out to him that not taking no for an answer is rape, he acted offended. Not taking no for an answer was a muscle-flexing, bragging point for him. He didn’t think that was rape. Telling me I couldn’t tell him no because girls that attended EKU, like me, were easy, chasing me, pinning me down on the wooden deck, ripping my tampon out, and forcing himself inside me after I said no and tried to run away was me playing hard to get and him not taking no for an answer rather than rape in his mind. I don’t understand this mind twist to this day. And even writing it nauseates and infuriates me.
The second and third times I was raped was by W. That situation is more complicated in some ways. He was a trusted friend.
The night I cried on W’s shoulder about M raping me, I fell asleep at W’s apartment. I woke up with him inside me. I wasn’t awake to say yes or no, so I tried to convince myself that he didn’t mean it. That it was an accident. That it was a misunderstanding. That it was… anything other than what it was. After all, I needed to believe my friend wouldn’t do that to me. I kind of managed to convince myself for a little while, but understandably that moment created a rift in trust that never healed.
Several months later W and I had a long…
